A 16 year old girl and a 17 year old boy decided they wanted to have sex. For the boy, he was losing his virginity. They were responsible and took all the correct precautions. It wouldn’t happen in the back seat of a car, condoms would be purchased/used and it was consensual. If you knew this boy, you’d know he was responsible. He was respectful, did well in school and pretty much had a full time job. A good kid. They both were. The boy made sure he purchased spermicide condoms, for extra protection. What could go wrong?

If you can guess what happened next, you’re 100% correct.

The condom broke.

They pretty much laughed it off. It was one time. The condom was put on correctly. Plus it had spermicide in it. I mean, what could go wrong? They went about their lives as normal.

Fast forward 6 weeks later. The girl misses her period.

Freaking out, the boy made some calls and remembered things from school on what to do next. Again, they did the responsible thing. The boy scheduled them appointments at the Health Department for a pregnancy test and for an STD screening. Every box was checked to be on the safe side. Both of their STD screenings came back negative. That was a huge relief.

The pregnancy test came back positive.

What the hell were they going to do? They were just kids. Kids that made a stupid, life changing, grown up decision that would effect their lives forever.

The health department provided them information on what their options were. They could keep and raise the baby, put the baby up for adoption or the girl could have an abortion.

A statistic that neither of them wanted to be apart of.

They had to grow up and make very grown up decisions. They loved each other, but they weren’t in love with each other. Neither of them could afford a baby. The boy had a job, but he spent his money on gas, clothes, food and cds. His life had recently had a life altering event. The girl babysat for her aunt, occasionally partied where she’d drink and do recreational drugs. There was no way they could go to school, work and raise a baby. They weren’t ready for a baby and there was no way in hell either of their families would help.

They were royally fucked.

They sat on the hood of the boys car and talked. They talked for hours. 7 hours to be exact. They got themselves into this predicament. They had to get themselves out of it. They tossed ideas back and forth. They laughed. They cried. They knew that if their families found out, they’d be in trouble and their futures were over. They were kids. One night. One time. And their lives were changed forever. They finally decided the best option for them was for the girl to have an abortion. The boy told the girl he would pay for it and he would be there with her from start to finish. She was his best friend. There was no way he’d make her go alone.

The next day they called and scheduled the abortion. The procedure was booked for a week later. A week, to give them time to change their minds if they wanted to. This was important.

The day finally came. They sat in the car before going in. They talked, cried and apologized to each other. Neither of them imaged this would be something they had to do. For other people, who weren’t responsible, yes. Not them. But here they were. Making a very serious, grown up decision. Not just for themselves but the unborn baby. None of their futures would be the same, regardless of which choice they made. This wasn’t something they took lightly. They exited the car to get it over with.

To make matters worse, there were picketers outside. Waving signs, calling them murderers, shouting they were going to hell and that Jesus hated them. It was cruel and unkind. The boy was very defensive and protective of his best friend and himself. None of them offered support or help. They spewed their hate and beliefs as facts. The clinic staff came to their rescue and rushed them through these “people”, into the clinic.

Once inside. They signed in. Paperwork was completed. The pre-counseling meeting was completed. They just waited for the procedure to be completed. Then her name was called. He couldn’t go in with her. They cried and hugged. They knew this was the best choice for them.

30 minutes later it, was done.

As they drove home. They made the decision not tell anyone. They were ashamed, embarrassed and it was their secret. It was no one else’s business. They were also very sad, but very grateful to have each other. Even more fortunate to have the choice.

They were stupid kids, who made a mistake.

The only silver lining was, they had a choice. Especially for the girl. It was her body that had to go through it.

Over the years, they occasionally talked about the “what-ifs”. They remained friends. Even through thick and thin. Their lives had gone in completely different directions though. In the end, it was for the best.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, the boy was me. I’m sure you know how my life changed since 1997/1998. I will not discuss “who” the girl was, but if you’ve known me a long time, you’ll be able to put two and two together.

If it wasn’t for abortion rights and women having body autonomy, our lives would be completely different. Who’s to say how the outcome would have been, had we kept the baby.

Sure, I was a responsible kid, but I had already been making adult decisions that I shouldn’t have had to make prior to this. What’s right for you, is your choice. What’s right for me, is mine. It’s also no one else’s business. Knowing me and the life I lived in my younger years, you understand.

I am no longer embarrassed or ashamed. I haven’t been for years. With what’s going on in the world today, I decided it was time to share this part of my life. Some know, many do not. If you know my character and heart, you know that I’m not a monster or how people are portrayed when it comes to abortion. Knowing what I know now, sure things could have been different. But at what cost?

Now you understand why I am a huge advocate for Women’s Rights. I’ve benefited from those rights. I’m also extremely grateful for those rights. Every woman should have the right to choose what they want to do with their bodies.

The Supreme Court decision to reverse Roe V Wade is an astronomical mistake. Even as someone who supports gun rights, guns have more rights than women. Breathing, living women. Not an object. A person. There are even more options nowadays with unplanned/unwanted pregnancy. Those options don’t always pan out how most think it does. Let’s not forget how hard, expensive and heart breaking fostering/adoption can be. I’ve been there too. Don’t go there with me.

I am frighted for the future of many. Especially Women and the LGBTQIA+ community. The outdated choices the people in higher power are making, are taking away our rights. They are making the divide, wider and angrier. This is just the beginning. If you are sitting on the sidelines, not supporting people or agreeing with these life changing decisions.

YOU ARE APART OF THE PROBLEM.

Your beliefs do not and should not have any say in mine or anyone else’s rights.

Again, this is just the beginning.

It will be worse before it gets better. But you know how that goes. We’ve been fighting for 50+ years for equality and we’ll keep fighting longer. Until everyone has equal rights. They’ve just made us angrier and more determined.

The battle has just begun.