I am already home, the only other option was to go BIG.

Dot Com BIG. I even mentioned it in my “#PuertoVallartaOrBust” post on Facebook.

Welcome to http://www.nickdecoopman.com ❤

I wasn’t really sure what I wanted my first post to be. Did I want to write about my trip? I already did that, posted the pictures/videos too. Did I want to write an intro about myself? Pretty much anyone who will be visiting my site, already knows me or at least about me. Plus, what do I want my site to convey, what’s its meaning?

My dream since I was a kid was to become a writer. Writing is the one thing for me that will never be a waste of time. This isn’t me boasting or disrespecting myself, there is a difference. It’s the one thing I know without a shadow of doubt that I excel at. It’s my gift. It’s the only gift that does not have a return policy. It’s all me. I may never be published or make this my fulltime career, but it will always be my outlet. What I needed was 1 place that I could incorporate my writing, short stories, thoughts and opinions without having someone dictate what I can and cannot say. It’s also my footprint for the world. When all is said and done, at the end of my life (a very long long time from now), it will be a reminder that I was here, that I was real.

I found a song (and future tattoo) that sparked this little firecracker that was waiting to explode. “Je te laisserai des mots” which translates to “I’ll leave you words”. If I can leave any mark on this world, I want it to be my words.

Over time I will post some short stories I’ve written, art I’ve done and posts/journal entries from when I was younger. Even terrible poetry I wrote when I was a young stupid teenager (or younger).

I decided I wanted my first post to be something I put thought into. Authentic. Fun. I posed the question on my social media pages “If you could ask me anything, what would you ask me”. Here are those questions/answers.

Melanie W.: What is the one thing that hurt you the most, but ended up making you a better person?

A. Allowing someone to physically and mentally abuse me. It shattered who I thought I was. But piece by piece I rebuilt myself. I overcame obstacles, even when the path was forked and covered in fog. It made me more compassionate and understanding. It taught me that my “fake smile” doesn’t sparkle like my genuine smile does. It taught me to never allow someone to have that kind of power over me ever again. And since that day, I haven’t.

Keith K.: Would you kill for me?

A. I love you, but no. I am not going to jail for anyone, ever again…..

Carly J.: What video lives in your head rent free?

A. https://youtu.be/tKJir4ROXiQ (copy and paste that link)

Gerry T.: What did you really think of me when we met for the first time?

A. The first 2 things I noticed was your purse and wedge shoes. I thought “Does this boujee ass lady realize she’s going into some nasty apartments with mentally ill adults?”. After hazing you, I realized you could hang with us. You gave me shit right back. I instantly respected that. Plus your motherly, gentle, kind and sweet spirit made it hard not to love you. I still have the ring you gave me (right off your hand) and wear it occasionally and think to myself “My friend Gerry gave this to me”.

Kevin M.: How many mini quiches would one need to eat to equal a full sized quiche?

A. Math class, never was good. I think you may have to ask Google to answer this question or maybe tweet Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart). I suck at math. HAHA!

Tracy E.: Are you living your best life?

A. This is a tricky question. I thought I was, but 2020/Covid era kind of changed all of that for me (and so many others). Before the pandemic, I thought I had my shit together and all these obtainable goals that were within my reach. I was traveling, YOLO’ing and living very out loud. Little did any of us know what would happen. It’s taken 2 full years to get this train back on track. The fear of the unknown, trickle effects of life and being robbed of so much time/people. It halted me in my tracks. The world stopped, and I did too. It made me reassess life and what I wanted from it. Things that mattered 2 years ago, they don’t matter as much as I thought they did. People, matter. My time, matters. Regardless of how I use it. The few keepsakes of life, matter. I think my best life isn’t what I expected 2 years ago, but it’s exactly where it needs to be, today. So yes, right now I am living my best life. One day at a time. ❤

Dale H.: If you could have lunch with three people, living or dead, who would that be?

A. My Mom, Ray and Carrie Fisher. All 3 for many different reasons. I wouldn’t want the meal to end or leave.

Louis B.: What does Gratitude mean to you?

A. Growing up poor, you learn to appreciate things. Usually it’s material things. And at one time it was for me. Now gratitude means much more. It’s the little things, real things. Being able to travel and see/experience things I never thought I would. Returning the favor of helping someone who helped me when I had nothing. Giving without expectations. Not wondering when my next meal will be, making sure there is a plate for everyone at my table (in more ways than one). It’s remembering where I came from, and appreciating where I am today. It’s working hard and playing harder. It’s love. Not giving it so willingly, but giving it freely, if that makes sense.

Nancy C.: (way too many questions, so I picked my favorite one) Have you ever thought about not being gay?

A. Absolutely. Would my life be easier? Sure. Would I fit into the worlds mold of a normal person? Absolutely. Would I want that now, knowing and having the life I have? Absolutely not. My life would be completely different. It would mean I wouldn’t have Mike, or my pooches. It wouldn’t be the home I worked hard to build. I wouldn’t be who I am today. I may not even like that person. Nowadays, I am pretty choosy about the people in my life. I doubt I would like that person. And I have way too much sauce for that buttered pasta life. I am way too colorful. I have a dance in my walk and a song in my talk.

Andy V.: What was the first album you purchased?

A. Debbie Gibson “Out Of The Blue” on cassette. My sister Tina bought it for me for my 7th birthday. It was the ONLY thing I wanted. She took me to K-Mart and gave me $10.00 to buy whatever I wanted. I am pretty sure I had enough money for the April O’Neil action figure from “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” too.

Megan N.: What’s your favorite thing about moving to Arizona?

A. Learning I am so much stronger than I ever gave myself credit for. Being scared enough to leave everything I know/love behind and starting over. Fortunately having Mike every step of the way made it easier, but also having some of my most favorite people already here made it worth it. Plus the view of the mountain awe-inspires me every time I drive down my street. Every. Single. Time.

AndiFM: What’s the best piece of advice you’ve been given?

A. “Take the leap, you are worth it”. I was told this during one of the roughest stages of my life. I still use it till this day. Whatever the situation, taking a chance is never easy, but it’s worth it, because I am worth it.

Carol S.: What about your childhood (good or not so good) helped mold you into the adult you are today?

A. Being raised by strong (and weak) women. It made me more sensitive than other little boys growing up. I was more caring, nurturing and understanding. I still hold many of those values. Women have always been my ally. I will always support women’s right and be their biggest advocate/cheerleader. I wouldn’t be here without a woman, and I wouldn’t be who I am without women either. I also accept, appreciate and own my femininity as a man.

Stacey S.: (you had some of the best questions, I chose my favorites) What kind of secret society would you like to start? What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home? You/Jenn.

A. 1. A small island of my favorite people. Loving, living, free and peaceful. 2. My friend Joe didn’t drink coffee, but he owned a coffee pot. He used it as a fish tank for little goldfish. Weird, but also very cool. 3.It’s a tie. Jenn was my med team ride or die, but you are also my YSL boujee queen. There is more than enough love to go around!

Dave K.: What are your goals before 50?

A. Happiness. Lots of plastic surgery. Anticipating retirement. Maybe a published book. More rescued dogs. Being as cool as you and your lady.

Janice C.: What did you do when you became my baby daddy?

A. Requested a DNA test. Especially since all my daughters were African American. Like not even an ounce of Caucasian in them. HAHAHAHA!

Sheri F.: How do you define love?

A. Sharing something that’s special. Music. Accepting all kinds of people, even the people you never thought you would. Being there through the good and bad. Remembering legacies. Reading your favorite book or retelling a story. Sharing a secret. Pictures. Thoughtful mementos. SAYING it and MEANING it. It’s loving someone entirely. Flaws and all. Holding hands. Being remembered.

AriGang: What’s your favorite song from each album by Ariana? (I am shocked this wasn’t submitted by CP)

A. Yours Truly: Almost Is Never Enough

My Everything: Only 1

Dangerous Woman: it’s a tie between Be Alright and Into You.

Sweetener: Yikes, this is hard. there are 4. In order of them. God Is a Woman, No Tears Left To Cry, Better Off and Breathin.

Thank U, Next: Again this is hard. Top 4. In order of them. In My Head, Needy, Bad Idea and Fake Smile .

Positions: Positions with Test Drive as close 2nd.

I can listen to my entire Ariana Grande playlist of 218 songs, 12 hours and 9 minutes without hitting skip once.

Sara B.: When you’re not your public version of yourself (the you that is the most positive and confident and proud). How would you describe yourself? Just the stripped down, blunt and bare truths about who you are.

A. At times, the complete opposite of the question. Insecure, needy, afraid, anxiety ridden, in my head, biting my nails to the cuticles and terrified of the unknown/death. In those moments I have to find my center, purpose, go to the nail salon and ground myself. I know I post about Ariana Grande, a lot. More than one really should. But 2 things that are my solace is writing and music. The times that I don’t feel like the “Internet Nick”, the song listed below explains one side of “Nick” that many don’t often get to see. On the other days, I am just regular degular “Nick”. If someone was to peak in my window, they’d find me dancing around in my underwear wearing my glasses (because as I get older, I am going blind) and fuzzy bear paw slippers, sitting in my chair with my feet kicked up scrolling my phone, watching TV with Mike (usually Judge Judy or old sitcoms), talking on the phone (I prefer that to texting), reading to the point of exhaustion or stopping Chanel from attacking Bianca. Some days I want to be left alone, or turn the world off. Others I want to hug every single person I come in contact with, adopt every rescue dog or eat sushi until I burst.

Ariana Grande “Needy”

https://youtu.be/Km__cJEJ3JI (copy and paste that link)

Tayia H.: In your former life were you a black woman from the Brewster Projects named Oshae LiQuor?

A. Yes. It’s why I have lots of seasonings in my cupboard/food, listen to good music and dislike many yt-pee-po. Don’t tell anyone, this isn’t my first trip around. I’ve been many things.

Heather C.Z.: Who is your idol?

A. It’s not 1 specific person. It’s anyone that has overcome adversity, is a good person. Helps those in need. Stands up for good causes and those that can not for themselves.

Feel free to comment on any post, send me a message or give me a follow. Or don’t. Totally up to you. Thanks for visiting. Come back soon now ya hear. HAHA! ❤